Adam and Me: A History.

I've been working on this forever. There's just so much that's happened between me and Adam Lazzara it's hard to remember it all, but here it is, my best effort of a time line of my love for him.

Spring 2005: I burn a copy of Tell All Your Friends and Where You Want To Be. The obsession begins.

November 2005: I'm starting to understand why he wrote 'One Eighty By Summer' and why he's always sounding so revengeful. And this is when I become a real fan.

October 2006: It's around this time that I purchase the Louder Now: Partone DVD and I learn that I love Adam for more than just the voice over my speakers, even if he does have poor hygiene.

February 14, 2007: Adam proposes...and not to me. I find this out a couple days later, but as it turns out Valentines Day can be ruined even after it happens.

March 2007:
7:10 PM I'm on my way to my first Taking Back Sunday concert. We're lost in Salt Lake, doors have opened and the concert has begun. The only reason I'm not crying right now is because I'm only missing the opening bands, but I cannot miss Adam. Why did I not Google Map the Saltair before leaving?
7:36 PM We somehow stumbled onto 201 and get in front of all the cars using I-80. That was lucky.
7:39 PM We walk into the Saltair and Armor For Sleep is playing their last song, all is well.
7:51 PM After buying shirts me and the bro head into the crowd, Underoath is getting ready to play.
8:15 PM Underoath is now playing, the crowd is crazy, but we're three from the front and breathing is not as big a priority as sticking this out to see Adam.
8:33 PM Underoath is almost done and I don't know if I can do this. My hair has been ripped out and I'm completely soaked through in my and other people's sweat. Oh yeah, and I still can't breath. But just at the moment when I'm questioning my will to stay in this mess and wondering if Adam is really worth this, my salvation comes in the form of water being spit on me by Spencer Chamberlain. He now holds a special place in my heart.
9:02 PM We've moved in front of the singer's mic, but we're 5 from the back. Adam walks out and every thing is okay. He's so close and as I yell out, "I love you, Adam" I realize he can hear me. Awesome.
9:18 PM This is the craziest crowd I've even been in and it's either get out or die. I'd rather live for Adam then die for him.
9:19 PM This is around the time I realize that the only way out is up, so I crowd surf for the first time. After the shock of not being groped has worn off I realize I'm heading directly towards Adam.
9:20 PM And I get set down right in front of him, staring up at him I'm in shock and can't move even though security is telling me to move on. How can I move on when I'm so close I could reach up and touch his foot? But eventually I have to move on and I promise myself that one day I will meet him.

May 27, 2009:
4:43 PM: We arrive to wait in line.
5:03 PM: Random guy behind us returns from the Gateway and tells random girl about meeting Adam. He then proceeds to convince her that he's telling the truth and by 5:06 PM they leave so she can meet him too.
5:09 PM: I wake up from my trance (my work has trained me for the past 5 months to have no emotional response to anything I hear, I knew it would work against me some day) and what just happened sinks in (to me), but by this time they are too far gone to try and catch up with them and the Gateway is a couple blocks long, doors could open by the time I find Adam and get back and I can't risk my spot in line.
5:41 PM Random guy and girl get back and yes, they met him.
6:05 PM Doors open and we soon realize all hope is lost as there is one girl, ONE GIRL, to pat us down, while there are five guys to pat down the guys. Girls are trickling in and it soon becomes apparent that all hope for the front row spots are gone. But second row is not so bad.
7: 15 PM Envy on the Coast is now playing and why is their singer doing that? Stop doing weird things! I turn to say something of this nature to Kynslie and as I do someone walking onto the balcony from outside catches my eye. He's wearing all black, long dark hair and is effortlessly classy, Adam Lazzara. I try to get his attention, it doesn't work so well. So I resort to staring at him for the majority of Envy on the Coast's performance. Which is not such a good idea, by the way, especially when you're standing in the general vicinity of his stare. We possibly made eye contact a couple times and he's probably thinking I'm a freak right about now. At least I'm not completely soaked in sweat at this point.
8:15 PM The guy forcing the air out of me from behind and the girl elbowing me in the neck forced me out of the pits. I made it through half of Anberlin but, Adam, I can't stick through this, even for you.
8:25 PM Found Kynslie and Allie and proceeded to dance with them on a table.
9:05 PM Taking Back Sunday comes on stage, it's Adam in all his mic swinging glory and I forgot how good they were.
10:15 PM Adam can't stop smiling when we sing every word of Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From the Team). I love him.
10:35 PM Taking Back Sunday leaves the stage.
10:50 PM We hang around the merch hoping to catch sight of a band member. Possible sighting of an Anberlin guy.
10:55 PM 5 feet from the merch table, I'm talking to Kynslie and he walks up, the possible Anberlin guy. But this is no Anberlin guy, it's Adam Burbank Lazzara.
10:56 PM I think I'm mumbling things...I remember asking someone to get a camera and Kynslie told me to go to him. I'm frozen, so I grab Kynslie's arm and we're walking toward him. Closer, closer until he's so close I could reach out and touch him. I watched him take money from a merch guy and then he turned away and was walking farther, farther. I wanted to call out, "HEY, ADAM!" But the only thing that came out was a meek, "hey..." And now I don't know whether to laugh or cry, so I'm doing something that's a combination of both as I'm watching him walk across the floor and out of my life.
11:35 PM I throw up in the bathroom of a Denny's. Classy. Probably because I've been sick and the concert pushed me over the edge. Possibly from an overwhelming disappointment in myself.

September 7, 2009: He won't escape me this time.