Small and simple things.

Need this.
Love this.

Unpacking.

"[A missionary] boxes up all those plans, wishes, wants, and desires and puts them on a shelf in his closet at home with all of his clothes and other things. When he returns he will unpack all of the boxes. He will find that some of the clothes he doesn't want anymore, and he will give them away. When he unpacks the box of his wants, wishes, dreams and desires he may find that there are also some of those he doesn't want anymore either." -Lawrence E. Corbridge.

It's been a week. Almost to the minute it's been a week since I sat on an airplane in Houston as it started rolling forward and I left my old life behind.

I've started the unpacking process, and yes it is a process. Not just something that can be done in a day, as I had previously thought. And as it turns out it's not that I don't want some of my things, it's that I don't want any of it. I'm thinking of having a yard sale and just getting rid of it all. I want a fresh start.

It's not just the material posessions that hold no apeal to me. It's the plans, wishes, wants and desires. I remember so carefully packing those things away before my mission, wrapping them up so they wouldn't be harmed. Carefully storing them away in the corner of my mind, hoping that I could just pick up where I started when I returned. But I can't. The plans, wishes, wants and desires are still there, perfectly preserved as I had wanted, but I've just sat staring at them for a week, unsure what to do with them. Maybe I'll sell them too.

And on top of that I can't shake the feeling that there is no room for Ashley in this life that's been waiting for me. I feel completely out of place.

There's no MTC for returned missionaries! There's no instruction manual for this! There should be.

So this is the beginning of the creation of my new life. Stay tuned.