my life is average.

Today my dear friend, Kynslie, showed me 'My Life Is Average'. I realized my life must be average because I'd done so many things that people wrote about. Here are some of them. MLIA.

Today I saw a crunchy looking leaf in the street. I went substantially out of my way in order to step on it. MLIA.

Today, I heard a knock at the door. I looked out the window and saw a Fedex truck parked outside the house. I decided to wait until the delivery man was gone to get the package so I wouldn't have to interact with him. MLIA

Today, I tried to splash water in my face like in the Neutrogena commercials. There was water all over my bathroom floor. MLIA

Today, I dropped my cell phone and said "ow". It did not hurt me in any way. MLIA.

Today I put on a pair of shorts that I haven't worn in a long time. I put my hand in my pocket and found a five dollar bill. I felt as if myself from the past wanted to give a gift to myself in the future. I was satisfied with the gift. MLIA.

Today, I watched a film I last saw when I was ten. I understand all the jokes now. MLIA.

Today, I was making a microwave dinner. The box said to cook 3 minutes, stir, then cook 2 more minutes. I confidently threw the box in the garbage. Paranoid, I took the box out of the garbage and double-checked the instructions. MLIA.

Today, I saw a video on the proper way to open bananas: from the bottom. Fascinated, I went to open a banana this way, and it worked perfectly. I didn't really want another banana, but I was so ecstatic that I opened another in the same way. MLIA

Today, I was lying in bed when I noticed that a crumpled up shirt across the room looked like a scary face. It made me uncomfortable, so I got up and laid it out flat. I feel safer now. MLIA

Today, I ran with scissors. It made me feel dangerous. MLIA.

Today, I ate lunch at a restaurant. The waitress told me not to touch my plate because it was hot. When she left I touched my plate. It was hot. MLIA

Today I was bored at work with nothing to do, so I sat and read Harry Potter. I then realized I was getting paid to read Harry Potter. It's my dream come true. MLIA.

Yesterday, I tried to do my hair, but nothing I did to it looked good. Today, when I was doing my hair, it came out perfect, I feel as if my hair was trying to apologize for its previous behaviour. Apology accepted. MLIA

Today, I complained to my mom about how there was nothing to eat, and she immediately called out a list of all the unappetizing leftovers we have in the fridge. I went to complain to my dad instead. He ordered pizza. MLIA

Today, I was eating gummy bears. I bit the heads off the bodies and put them onto gummy bears of different colors. Good times were had. MLIA.

http://mylifeisaverage.com