ashley.

This is the story of how I learned how to embrace life...

2011-07-25T22:12:00.004-06:00

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed. -Doctrine and Covenants 123:17

Well, I haven't posted in a while and can't just let this thing get dusty, so I thought I'd share something a little more upbeat than other things I've posted lately. Like that post from May. You know, the one a few down.

You know those times when life starts bombarding you with all these similar experiences, like it's trying to teach you something. Well, that's been happening to me as of late.

I suppose I could go into grand detail about the ups and downs of this, but fortunately for you I need to be in bed and asleep within the next 30 minutes. So this will be brief. Well, let's just say for the past couple days-ish I had been in a really bad mood. Probably due to a lot of factors. And I was getting migraines every day and I could just tell it wasn't a medical thing, it was from stress and just having a bad attitude in general.

Anyway. It just made me do a lot of reflecting about myself about who I became on my mission, who I am now and who I want to be. And I realized that I'd been hanging on to my mission so badly and not wanting to move on because I loved the person I was becoming on my mission and due to me giving up some of my habits (like not reading the scriptures everyday) I was drifting away from that. So I made a goal to start reading my scriptures every morning before I go to work and it has started to make so much of a difference in my life! So that was the first thing.

And then I go to church on Sunday and we get into Sunday school and I'm expecting the typical lesson from the New Testament, but then we randomly have a lesson about heroes and having a good attitude. And the lesson just hit me so hard and in the middle of the lesson my favorite scripture came to mind, Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 and it just meant so much to me in that moment that I just wanted to hold my scriptures up to my chest and keep them close to my heart so I'd never forget that feeling of just wanting to embrace life.

Later that day I called Danny and found out that his grandma had passed away that morning. It was a huge shock, it definitely wasn't something I saw coming. But it made me think even more about the value of life and what's really important to me. It made me think about how important time is. And how if we want to feel loved and happy in this life we need to make sure those around us feel loved and happy.

And then as I'm writing this my old friend, Alex, randomly starts chatting with me on Facebook about how the gospel is true and how with it we can get through anything. I love it!

Anyway, I realized this has turned into a rant, which was not really what I intended. But my point is, being alive and feeling alive and not being selfish and having a good attitude are really important. And... the end. :)

Good things really do come to those who wait.

2011-06-05T21:14:00.002-06:00

After 3,000ish miles, 4 years, 2 missions, probably close to 1,000 fights and an infinite number of indian jokes I am officially dating Danny Nelson. Totally worth it.

Small and simple things.

2011-05-31T18:29:00.004-06:00

Need this.
Love this.

Unpacking.

2011-05-18T15:35:00.002-06:00

"[A missionary] boxes up all those plans, wishes, wants, and desires and puts them on a shelf in his closet at home with all of his clothes and other things. When he returns he will unpack all of the boxes. He will find that some of the clothes he doesn't want anymore, and he will give them away. When he unpacks the box of his wants, wishes, dreams and desires he may find that there are also some of those he doesn't want anymore either." -Lawrence E. Corbridge.

It's been a week. Almost to the minute it's been a week since I sat on an airplane in Houston as it started rolling forward and I left my old life behind.

I've started the unpacking process, and yes it is a process. Not just something that can be done in a day, as I had previously thought. And as it turns out it's not that I don't want some of my things, it's that I don't want any of it. I'm thinking of having a yard sale and just getting rid of it all. I want a fresh start.

It's not just the material posessions that hold no apeal to me. It's the plans, wishes, wants and desires. I remember so carefully packing those things away before my mission, wrapping them up so they wouldn't be harmed. Carefully storing them away in the corner of my mind, hoping that I could just pick up where I started when I returned. But I can't. The plans, wishes, wants and desires are still there, perfectly preserved as I had wanted, but I've just sat staring at them for a week, unsure what to do with them. Maybe I'll sell them too.

And on top of that I can't shake the feeling that there is no room for Ashley in this life that's been waiting for me. I feel completely out of place.

There's no MTC for returned missionaries! There's no instruction manual for this! There should be.

So this is the beginning of the creation of my new life. Stay tuned.

Baby girl, I'm a blur.

2009-10-19T23:52:00.001-06:00

No matter where I go you're on my mind
I'll always stumble home and pray I'll find you
With your flamethrower eyes and jilted eyes

I ain't workin for you anymore.

2009-10-13T22:58:00.010-06:00

Today was my last day of work!!! Can I get an amen? Or maybe just a woot woot woot?
Let me take you through my day...

Drove to work...although this is a picture from a different day. Just imagine darker clouds.

Sat at my messy desk and took a few calls, caught up on a few blogs, and talked to some peeps. Then ate and ate and ate. In honor of my leaving we had oreos shaped like spiders (courtesy of Justin), yum! Pepperoni pizza and pumpkin chocolate cookies (my favorite, thanks Clyde). Then I got a call from a crazy man who said, "I hope your babies come out naked!" Thanks, sir. So do I. He proceeded to call back several times and was a great source of entertainment for the night. Also I used my last piece of paper in my notebook tonight, oh serindipity!

My coworkers gave my this cute card. It shall be used for decorative purposes on the mish. And speaking of the mish, any weight I gain while in Texas will here on out be referred to as my 'fat for Jesus' and/or 'the Lords pounds'. It makes me feel better about being obese in the future.

And then work was done. And my desk is lonely and depressed without me.

But then I was happy again cause I blasted this song on my way home and sang at the top of my lungs. "I AIN'T WORKIN FOR YOU ANYMORE!"

So long, so long

2009-10-12T16:58:00.000-06:00

The Setting: St. George Arcade
My Peeps: Allie, Cameron, and Preston
The Game: Deal or No Deal

Please keep in mind that I've watched about 15 minutes of Deal or No Deal once or twice, so I was pretty excited when I decided not to take any deal and found that I had picked the briefcase with 100 tickets in it. As I looked over my prizes it was clear the best course of action would be to go with the army men. And so I did. Allie and I attached them to my dashboard in strategic positions one sunny, autumn day in Cedar City. And they stayed that way for almost a year.

The other day I noticed my dashboard had gotten quite dusty and I decided it was time to clean it. The army men had become so brittle by that point that they would fall apart even when you just lightly touched them. So I had to say goodbye to them all.

They have brought a smile to the faces of workers of In and Out and McDonalds alike. They have provided entertainment to many riders in my passenger seat. And they have kept me company.

To my army men, whether gray, tan or green, I salute you all.

A-Z of things that make me happy.

2009-10-08T21:15:00.001-06:00

A- Apple cider
B- Blue Lily Photgraphy
C- Collar bones and cardigans
D- Dandelion seeds
E- Etsy
F- Fields of grain, flowers
G- Grape snow cones
H- Happiness, Your Heritage
I- I Am the Messenger
J- Jim and Pam
K- Kites
L- Lighthouses
M- Mail and music videos
N- Nienie dialogues
O- The Orphaned Anythings
P- Peacoats, President Bush choking on a pretzel
Q- Quotes
R- Rainy days listening to Coldplay
S- Shows, shows, shows! And sunglasses.
T- The Truth About Forever
U- Umbrellas
V- Voice of Stephen Christian, Adam Lazzara, Chris Carrabba, Andrew McMahon, Cove Reber, Mikel Jollett and Anthony Green.
W- Warm Fuzzies and waking up early
X- XOXOXO (I'm trying to be more affectionate.)
Y- Yearly Tax Returns
Z- ZOOO!

I'm still down with J.C.

2009-10-05T19:02:00.001-06:00

"Jesus Christ is the light and the life of the world. If we do not choose to move toward Him, we will find that we have moved away....Whether or not you choose to keep your covenant to always remember Him, He always remembers you." -Henry B. Eyring.

Another wonderous adventure of Jacki and me.

2009-10-05T18:00:00.000-06:00

I know I'm a little late talking about this, but here we go.

The Airborne Toxic Event. Talk about epic. Luckily for me my dear friend, Jacki, stepped up and accepted my last minute invite to the show and I didn't have to go alone. It was Jacki's first experience in a small venue and it did not disappoint.

TATE has such stage presence, they're one of the best live bands I've seen. It's just exciting for me to see people who you can tell are so in the moment, are genuinely happy and are having fun doing what they do. Some highlights would have to be when Noah played his bass guitar with a bow, hearing their new songs and when they played the extended version of 'Innocence.' If you've not seen this I would highly suggest going to their MySpace page and watching the video for 'Innocence' in their acoustic series. I also loved hearing them play 'Something New', it took me back to the days of early summer when they played that song for me. To summarize: Anna is a doll. Mikel is something beautiful to behold and, if possible, has more emotion in his voice live then on record. I read a review that said their music is "poetry you can dance to." Too true. Checking their tour dates will be on the top of my list of things to do when I get back from my mission.

TATE was co-headlining with Arctic Monkeys. I still wish SLC was a city where TATE played last, but Arctic Monkeys were insane. Literally insane. Starting off with the first song their drummer had an unhealthy amount of energy. I kept watching him, waiting for his energy to drain or for him to have a heart attack, but he never did. He alone is reason enough for me to be a new fan of Arctic Monkeys. I also enjoyed the floppy-haired, british-accenty vocals of their singer. Drool.

Welp. That's pretty much it. Next up is Brand New. Kynslie and I will attempt to figure out the mystery that is Jesse Lacey. Wish us luck.

Why not have another one? It's not like I'm leaving anytime soon...

2009-09-29T19:20:00.004-06:00

I have felt the need yet again to start another blog. This one belongs to me and my old roomie and current dear friend, Erin. Join us in our astonishment of the things that come out of Kynslie's mouth.

http://thatswhatshimsaid.blogspot.com/

it's a sign.

2009-09-28T21:04:00.002-06:00

...And to continue a series of unexpected wisdom bombarding my life, let's hear a few surprising words from Max Bemis.

"The cool thing about this new record is that I feel like, as much as there are no happy endings in life, there are, in a way. Society brands you and conditions you to think you'll never get what you're looking for. You gotta keep trying, you gotta keep buying everything; don't settle for anything or anybody. Don't compromise, ever. That's the American Way. But in reality, life is full of compromise, and it brings you the most joy when you notice the small things in life.

I have better things to do with my time than to be the typical tortured artist. There are political systems and sociological mechanisms that could literally destroy this earth. My grandkids could be dead from us not taking care of this world and of each other. If I'm going to be trying to live this stupid, kvetching life, it's a waste of energy. It's a waste of what God gave me."

I will now top it off with tidings from Stephen Christian.

"Life is too good and life is too short to complain."

There you have it ladies and gentleman. My new outlook on life.

She's watching me awkwardly from a distance.

2009-09-18T19:36:00.035-06:00

On Saturday Kynslie and I attended an acoustic show by Saosin featuring the angelic vocals of your favorite semi-famous Mormon and mine, Cove Reber. Feast your eyes upon this band. Those are some all around good lookin men.

But let's not get caught up in their beauty. We were lucky enough to get good seats on the second row of floor sitters. Chris, Cove and Justin announced that they would start off playing 'Follow and Feel'. I will admit that I was quite nervous for this because there have been rumors going around about Cove's voice going downhill. His voice is one of the main reasons I feel in love with this band, so of course I didn't want to believe it's true. The guitars began and then Cove sang, "Don't let them know you're watching the situation crumble..." I felt as if my soul breathed a huge sigh of relief. His voice was completely flawless. It blew me away.

They played a nice variety of songs including some really old Anthony Green ones, some from the self titled album, from 'In Search of Solid Ground', and some really funny covers including 'Friends In Low Places' by Garth Brooks. They came off as really chill, down to earth guys. By the end of the preformance we felt completely at ease around them. Okay, maybe not COMPLETELY at ease, I was still shaking when we met Cove. How could I not be nervous around someone who pulls off dreads so well AND has the perfect man legs?

Alex and Beau didn't play, which I would imagine is kind of weird for them. But it was nice to see their sweet spirits anyway. Moral of this blog: If you have not listened to Saosin you should be ashamed of yourself. Don't think, don't hesitate. Just buy all their music now!

I'll try to post some video later if my camera decides to cooperate with me. Only time will tell.

In other news tomorrow is a very exciting day for two reasons.
Reason #1: It's Adam Lazzara's bday and what doesn't say birthday fun like a picture of Adam peering at you? Happy birthday you beautiful late twenty something!
Reason #2: Tomorrow is the The Airborne Toxic Event show. Rest assured, you will be hearing plenty about it. As a side note, I found out the other day that lead singer, Mikel Jollett (far right), is 34 years old. As it turns out love really does know no age. If he wanted to, I'd totally let him date me. We'll see how it goes.

My new motto.

2009-09-10T20:20:00.002-06:00

"Go to school, learn things, live your life, love people, have ideas, be beautiful." -Mikel Jollett.

I'm sorry, but OH EM GEEEEEE (gosh, of course)!!!!!!

2009-09-04T16:31:00.014-06:00

I love work today. Why, you ask? Three reasons that I will now disclose to you:

1-We get pizza today.
2-After pizza we are having our weekly meeting. I love the weekly meeting because weekly meeting equals an hour not on the phones.
3-After the weekly meeting we get to go home early!

Can you believe my great luck? Pizza, meeting, and leaving early all on the same day! It's a good day for me even when just one of these things happens! This is like a very positive version of the Bermuda Triangle. If I had to chose one word to describe my mood right now it would be ecstatic. I feel as if I have just opened up the metaphorical door of life and Ed McMahon is standing on my metaphorical doorstep holding a giant metaphorical check all for ME!

And this is my face when I found out:

I Love Ryan Russell. His Photos? Ehh, not so much.

2009-09-03T18:52:00.056-06:00

Have you ever been asked, "If you could trade places with anyone for one day who would it be?" I can remember being asked this three different times in my life. My answers were the President of the United States, Oprah and Britney Spears. Yeah, I really did say Britney Spears. But I only gave those answers because there really wasn't anyone I envied enough to trade with. I now have my answer to that question. Actually two answers, the first would be Stephen Christian, who is living his life the way I wish I was living mine. My second answer would have to be Ryan Russell. I'd like to think that 10 years down the road my life will be similar to his. Ryan Russell is a photographer, I tried my best to be picky about the photos I'm putting on here, but I wasn't extremely successful. Feast your eyes upon a few of the reasons I'd like to walk a mile...or five in Ryan Russell's shoes. Prepare for an obnoxious amount of photographs.

And now for the main reason I want to be Ryan Russell... Ben Gibbard, Death Cab For Cutie/The Postal Service

Matt Rubano, Taking Back Sunday

Fred Mascherino, The Color Fred

A little something for Kynslie (pretend that's a bubble gum cigarette)...Max Bemis, Say Anything/Two TonguesCartel

Tom Delonge, Angels and AirwavesAnberlin
Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance (Is anybody else getting a Michael Jackson vibe from this photo? I think it's the nose...and the jacket.)
Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance

My Chemical Romance

Underoath

Aaron Gillespie, Underoath/The Almost

Anthony Green, Circa Survive

Anthony Green, Circa Survive

William Beckett, The Academy Is...

Hayley Williams, Paramore

Hayley Williams, Paramore

Hayley Williams, Paramore

Spencer Chamberlian, Underoath

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster

Tom Gabel, Against Me!

Taking Back Sunday

And let's end with a whole lotta Adam. (And no, I will not take the blame for featuring too many pictures of Adam Lazzara. It's really not my fault that a photogenic person and a great photographer have come in contact one to many times.)

To see more go to http://www.ryanrussell.net/.

R.I.P. sweet shades.

2009-09-01T16:19:00.001-06:00

Today I am mourning the death of a close friend. My favorite pair of sunglasses have officially bit the dust. I carelessly put them in my purse thinking they would by fine, but somehow one of the temples (yes, I know the technical name) has fallen off and is, unfortunately, beyond repair.

I would like to take this time to say thank you. Thank you, dear shades, for being there for me through the brightest summer days to the most blinding days of winter. I remember our first days together, Kaela had found you at the Warped Tour, I took you from her and claimed you as my own. It didn't take a genius to see we were MFEO. You've always made me feel as glamorous as Jakie O. and have added that special touch of class to many an outfit. You may be useless to me now, but I will always remember you in all your rock n roll glory. You will be missed.

circle of hate reform

2009-08-31T17:22:00.001-06:00

I now have a mutual blog with Kynslie Coffin entitled 'Circle of Hate Reform'. If you feel so inclined you can check it out at www.circleofhatereform.blogspot.com, just keep in mind that I really do love life. Neither of us are negative people persay, it's just that sometimes the world decides it hates us and we will now be keeping a public record of it.

Stephen Christian is messing with my soul again.

2009-08-26T09:35:00.001-06:00

These questions can be found on The Modesty Writers Guild blog. I haven't been able to answer them quite yet, but maybe you'll be able to answer these things for yourself.

1. imagine that you are standing in a graveyard looking at your own tombstone. now write the epitaph you would like to see there. begin with the words "here lies..."

2. write your own obituary (don't make it brief). how do you want people to think of your life, to remember you?

3. what legacy would you like to leave when you die?

http://modesty.blogspot.com/2008/08/tree-and-stone.html

Danny boy.

2009-08-20T21:42:00.001-06:00

Today is the one year mark of my best friends mission to the Jamaica Kingston mission. Time goes by fast. So here is a multi media celebration through pictures, music and words of the wonder that is Daniel David Nelson.

You're my BFF even though you:
Shoved a toilet bowl cleaner in my face.
Broke my foot.
Told a random girl I was going to scalp her.
Made me laugh about starbursts in the middle of Sunday School.
Left me all alone for the boob scene in Across the Universe.
Ate 11 cheeseburgers at once while singing along to Phantom of the Opera.
White washed me in the snow whilst losing my keys and then blaming me for it.
Had no sympathy for the death of my beloved Silky Jack (RIP).
'Accidentally' spit string cheesy into my mouth.
Made our institute class believe we were about to be translated when your ringtone 'Girl' went off in the middle of class.

Sometimes we're children, like when we:
Take naps.
Fly kites and get them stuck on power lines.
Attempted to make puddles into bubbly koolaid.
Evil laugh.
Model pose in the doorway.
Dress up as cowboys and Indians.
Slip N Slide.

We watch way too much:
Tyra.
David Blaine.
Dot.
The Office.
Desperate Housewives.

Thank you for:
Chasing away bad ex-boyfriends.
Carmina Burana.
Sharing your food with me.
Trying to make me a dress out of a pillowcase.
Co-founding our pumpkin selling business.

Let's never do these things again:
Kill rabbits against our wishes.
Roll down the street in giant tires.
Leave Zach outside to get drenched by the sprinklers in his sleep.

A few words to end on:
Gootch.
Bangin Brooke.
Gangrene tights.
Kevin Hicks!

Top 10 Chick Flicks

2009-08-20T19:56:00.001-06:00

The other day at work Tyrone and I got to talking about chick flicks, which motivated us both to come up with our top ten chick flicks. After much internal debate this is the list I've come up with, including some of my favorite quotes. As a side note, I've come to the conclusion that I'm obsessed with movies in which a spouse dies. Read and see.

10- Wicker Park. According to Wikipedia it's a "psychological drama/romantic mystery film." It may not have many swoon-type moments, but the end scene with 'The Scientist' playing in the background qualifies this movie to be a chick flick. And a good one at that. If you haven't seen this movie, rectify the situation immediately.

Alex: Love makes you do crazy things, insane things. Things in a million years you thought you'd never see yourself do. But there you are doing them... can't help it.

Matthew: Things don't have to be extraordinary to be beautiful, even the ordinary can be beautiful.
Lisa: Take my picture. I'm feeling beautiful tonight.

9- Just Like Heaven. Even though Mark Ruffalo is a lazy bum during a good part of this movie I still fell in love with him. We also find out that his spouse died and I'm apparently so attracted to that. Besides who doesn't love anything with Reese Witherspoon?

Elizabeth: I may have been a lonely home-wrecking whore, but I saved lives!

Elizabeth: It's a tension pneumothorax
David: I think it's a tension nemothax, sir.
Elizabeth: Pneumothorax.
David: Nuemathax, sir!
Elizabeth: Pneumothorax!
David: Numathurman.
Elizabeth: Never mind
David: Never mind!

Elizabeth: Don't you think she was totally unclassy and predatory?
David: Those happen to be two of men's favorite things.

Abby: Who put Sponge Bob in the pasta?

Katrina: Osama, communism is way over, so like give your people some toilet paper.

8- PS I Love You. Gerard Butler is close to being the ideal husband in this film, aside from the fact that he dies of brain cancer. I cry during a good part of this movie and when I'm not crying I have that lump-in-the-throat feeling. But the end is so hopeful and makes me think it's possible to get through the worst parts of life.

Daniel: Sorry, I have a syndrome. I don't really have a filter. I don't pick up on social cues.
Holly: You mean you're rude?
Daniel: Yeah, but now it's a disease I can take medication for.
Holly: They have pills for rudeness?
Daniel: I know...and they can't figure out the Middle East. Go figure.

Daniel: Yeah, we'll be really weird friends joined by self-pity, bitterness and vomit.

7- A Walk to Remember. It may not be that old, but it's a classic! And I love that Landon has a star named after Jamie, even if my mom does think it's lame.

Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater?
Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain.

Landon: Our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.

Ms. Garber: Mr. Carter, are you trying to be bad at this?
Landon: Nah, it just comes naturally.

6- You've Got Mail. It's Meg and Tom, what's not to love? And I love hearing the dial up sounds, oh the days when the internet began! This movie is proof that true love can arise from hatred and rivalry.

Kathleen: People always say that change is a good thing, but what it really means is that something that you didn't want to happen, has happened.

Joe: I think you'd discover a lot of things if you really knew me.
Kathleen: If I really knew you, I know exactly what I'd find: instead of a brain a cash register, instead of a heart a bottom line. (gasps)
Joe: What?
Kathleen: I just had a breakthrough.
Joe: What is it?
Kathleen: I have you to thank for it. For the first time in my life, when confronted with a horrible, insensitive person, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and I said it.
Joe: I think you have the gift for it. It was a perfect blend of poetry and meanness.

Kathleen: The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.

Joe: You know, sometimes I wonder...
Kathleen: What?
Joe: Well... if I hadn't been Fox Books and you hadn't been The Shop Around the Corner, and you and I had just, well... met...
Kathleen: I know.
Joe: Yeah. I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"
Kathleen: Joe...
Joe: And you and I would have never been at war. And the only thing we'd fight about would be which video to rent on a Saturday night.
Kathleen: Well, who fights about that?
Joe: Well, some people. Not us.
Kathleen: We would never.
Joe: If only.

5- Sense and Sensibility. A spouse dies in the beginning so I'm automatically hooked. Even though I'm not used to Hugh Grant playing characters such as Edward Ferrars I think he's perfect for the role. I love the subtle humor and Kate Winslet's depiction of Marianne.

Edward: My heart is, and always will be, yours.

Sir John Middleton: And now, Miss Dashwood, it's your turn to entertain us.
Elinor: Oh no, Sir John, I don't...
Sir John Middleton: And I believe I know what key you will sing in. "F" major.

Elinor: There is a painful difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event and its final certainty.

4- My Best Friend's Wedding. Where to start? Pretending to be engaged to a gay man, a cat fight in a public restroom, awful karaoke, and an entire restaurant of people singing 'I Say a Little Prayer For You', what doesn't this movie have?

Michael: Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just...
Julianne: Passes you by...
Michael: Passes you by...

George: Maybe there won't be marriage, maybe there won't be sex, but by God there'll be dancing!

3- 2 Weeks Notice. Hugh Grant is amazing and should be in all movies. You could laugh at any line from this film and even though Sandra Bullock is gross and has greasy hair through the entire thing it's my favorite Bullock movie.

George: I own the hotel, and I live there. My life is very much like Monopoly.

Lucy: I think your the most selfish human being on the planet.
George: Well that's just silly. Have you met everybody on the planet?

Lucy: You called everyone but Slurpee Heaven.
George: That is not true. I did call Slurpee Heaven. They didn't want you. Heard you had attitude. Said you weren't "Slurpee" material.

Helen: Would you like anything?
George: I'd love some Milk Duds.
Helen: We don't have any, I could send out for one.
George: Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box.

George: This whole project is worth about 50 million in profits.
Mrs. Kelson: No offense, but I think it's *immoral* for one person to acquire that much wealth. How do you sleep at night?
George: Well, I have a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean.
Mr. Kelson: Do those really work?
George: Oh, yes, quite well actually.

George: And did you tell Billy you loved him? Did you say, 'Billy, I love you'?

Lucy: The man you're dancing with is deeply troubled. You're much to young to be trading yourself like a stock on the Nasdaq to a man who will not be remembering your name or his in the morning, is still married and recently developed a very suspicious rash. Now go home, finish high school and reach your potential!

Meryl: You should have gone with George.
Lucy: He asked June.
Meryl: He asked you too!
Lucy: He asked me too? How many women does a man need to take to dinner? Maybe in Utah.

George: Divorce always gives me an appetite. Kabob?
Lucy: No thanks. I've never really warmed to the idea of a flesh popsicle.

2- Pride and Prejudice. Why do I love this movie? Darcy, Darcy, Darcy and Darcy. Enough said.

Elizabeth: And that put paid to it. I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?
Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.
Elizabeth: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead
Darcy: So what do you recommend to encourage affection?
Elizabeth: Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable.

Mr. Bennet: Well, if Jane does die, it will be a comfort to know she was in pursuit of Mr. Bingley.

Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.
Elizabeth: I don't understand.
Darcy: I love you.

Darcy: You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

1- Sleepless In Seattle. It's the ultimate in the spouse dies genre. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan truly are MFEO. You get Seattle, the Empire State building, a tolerable Rosie O'Donnell and I can't help but find the movie so believable and relatable. You couldn't ask for much more than that.

Annie: Harses, harses, harses!

Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?
Sam: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do?
Sam: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breath in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breath in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.
Doctor Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were suppose to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.

Co-Worker: It's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40!
Annie: That statistic is not true!
Becky: That's right it's not true, but it feels true.
Co-Worker: It feels true because it is true.

Jonah: A ho! A ho! My dad's been captured by a ho!

Sam: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!
Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.
Sam: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."
Greg: Who didn't?
Sam: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these air shafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin [begins to cry] were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...
Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!
Sam: And Trini Lopez...
Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!
Sam: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...
Greg: Stop.
Sam: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...
Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Annie: When a man is a widower why do we say he was widowed? Why don't we say he was widowered?

It's my party and i'll be narcissistic if I want to.

2009-08-12T19:23:00.001-06:00

It's the question on everyone's mind..."What do I get Ashley for her upcoming birthday?" Worry no more because I've compiled a list of ideal presents for me. Sit back, relax, look through my list and try to humor my egotistical ways. (This is primarily for family use anyway.)

Concerts:
Say Anything with Bayside, Eisley, Moneen, and Moving Mountains. September 19, 2009.

The Airborne Toxic Event and Arctic Monkeys. September 22, 2009.

Brand New with Manchester Orchestra. October 9, 2009.

Stuff For The Mish:

Mail Book

Your Heart Is An Empty Room Journal

Mixtape Screenprinted Stationary Set

Crop Cotton Cardigan in Gray

Basic Cotton Cardigan in Jade

Devin Military Peacoat with Thinsulate in Black

Stuff From Etsy:

Vintage XL Sunglasses imported from the island of Mauritius

Vintage Key with crown for wall or door decor

Vintage Electric Fan

Moss green Neo-Victorian fingerless gloves

Creamy Peony Flower Clip with Cream Stretch Headband

French Love and L'alcool Tshirt

Topknot Headband

Bow Print Black White Tshirt

Gray Flower Ring

Bicycle Gray Tshirt

my life is average.

2009-08-07T19:51:00.002-06:00

Today my dear friend, Kynslie, showed me 'My Life Is Average'. I realized my life must be average because I'd done so many things that people wrote about. Here are some of them. MLIA.

Today I saw a crunchy looking leaf in the street. I went substantially out of my way in order to step on it. MLIA.

Today, I heard a knock at the door. I looked out the window and saw a Fedex truck parked outside the house. I decided to wait until the delivery man was gone to get the package so I wouldn't have to interact with him. MLIA

Today, I tried to splash water in my face like in the Neutrogena commercials. There was water all over my bathroom floor. MLIA

Today, I dropped my cell phone and said "ow". It did not hurt me in any way. MLIA.

Today I put on a pair of shorts that I haven't worn in a long time. I put my hand in my pocket and found a five dollar bill. I felt as if myself from the past wanted to give a gift to myself in the future. I was satisfied with the gift. MLIA.

Today, I watched a film I last saw when I was ten. I understand all the jokes now. MLIA.

Today, I was making a microwave dinner. The box said to cook 3 minutes, stir, then cook 2 more minutes. I confidently threw the box in the garbage. Paranoid, I took the box out of the garbage and double-checked the instructions. MLIA.

Today, I saw a video on the proper way to open bananas: from the bottom. Fascinated, I went to open a banana this way, and it worked perfectly. I didn't really want another banana, but I was so ecstatic that I opened another in the same way. MLIA

Today, I was lying in bed when I noticed that a crumpled up shirt across the room looked like a scary face. It made me uncomfortable, so I got up and laid it out flat. I feel safer now. MLIA

Today, I ran with scissors. It made me feel dangerous. MLIA.

Today, I ate lunch at a restaurant. The waitress told me not to touch my plate because it was hot. When she left I touched my plate. It was hot. MLIA

Today I was bored at work with nothing to do, so I sat and read Harry Potter. I then realized I was getting paid to read Harry Potter. It's my dream come true. MLIA.

Yesterday, I tried to do my hair, but nothing I did to it looked good. Today, when I was doing my hair, it came out perfect, I feel as if my hair was trying to apologize for its previous behaviour. Apology accepted. MLIA

Today, I complained to my mom about how there was nothing to eat, and she immediately called out a list of all the unappetizing leftovers we have in the fridge. I went to complain to my dad instead. He ordered pizza. MLIA

Today, I was eating gummy bears. I bit the heads off the bodies and put them onto gummy bears of different colors. Good times were had. MLIA.

http://mylifeisaverage.com

We Don't Need to Whisper

2009-07-31T20:15:00.001-06:00

I remember hearing that Tom DeLonge said the best way to listen to Angels and Airwave's 'We Don't Need to Whisper' is in a dark room, with a candle as the only light. Several nights ago I decided to try it. What Tom doesn't realize is that I require much more specific instructions than the ones he provided.

Before I even began I realized that I didn't know what kind of candle I was supposed to use, I settled for one that we have for power outages similar to the one pictured above. I figured it was more legit to use this instead of a factory produced smelly one in a glass jar. I'm pretty sure the one I used is factory produced and is most likely from Walmart. Nevertheless, I lit the candle and made my way to my bedroom, I set it on my dresser and came to the next problem...how should I listen to the album?

I decided to listen to it on my CD player rather than my Ipod, I figured it would have a greater effect through bigger speakers. The music began and I came to my next problem, what was I supposed to look at? I wanted to close my eyes, but that defeats the purpose of having candlelight. The candle was not creating any cool shadows, so I decided to stare at the flame. It worked and I was becoming quite mesmerized with the music and Tom's beautiful voice when I got to 'Do It For Me Now' and my CD started skipping. It completely ruined the mood...and I couldn't fix it, so I had to switch over to my Ipod and headphones. It wasn't quite as powerful, but I still very much enjoyed the experience! I invite you to also try this out and spend 50 minutes or so listening to Tom's views on love and war. You will notice things you've never noticed before.

I have one final thought on this experience. On 'Good Day' the lyrics state "true love is something that comes easy." Every time I hear these words I always start an internal debate on whether I agree with the statement or not. I still can't decide, so please feel free to enlighten me with your thoughts on the subject in the comments. Thanks.

It's only a matter of time.

2009-07-28T18:28:00.001-06:00

I'm bored. Real bored. So bored that these are thing things I've done in the last half hour:

1. Count my split ends.
2. Check my junk mail.
3. Sent a one sentence email.
4. Alternate between my blog and my email hoping someone has either posted a new blog to read or sent me a new email.

I'm at work and pretty much every interesting site I would like to look at is banned. It's super slow and both people who sit next to me are gone...I have no idea where they are, but they were gone yesterday too and I'm so bored! I imagine prison is more stimulating than this. So here are my options:

1.Write a fascinating blog. (This is clearly on it's way to becoming fascinating.)
2. Look up random things on Wikipedia.
3. Look at clothes that I can't buy because they're unnecessary considering the fact I can only wear them for 3 months.
4. Look at pictures of Texas.
5. Study products for work. (That's not going to happen.)
6. Get a new wallpaper for my computer.
7. Drink lots of water and take a long bathroom break.
8. Ponder philosophy.
9. Look at photography on www.etsy.com
10. Watch Gabe fix chairs.

Most of these options are great, but keep in mind they have to entertain me for 3 hours. If I wasn't at work I would do one of the following:

1. Go on a hike.
2. Buy an old piano, sand it down, paint it turquoise and learn to play songs by Jack's Mannequin, Coldplay, Barcelona, and Snow Patrol.
3. Learn Spanish phrases on You Tube.
4. Help somebody.
5. Watch music videos.
6. Finger paint.

I find it funny that I waste away my time when I have the agency to choose to do anything and everything I want. I only appreciate what my time is worth when I'm confined to a cubicle with no one to talk to and nothing to do. The moral of this blog: get off your lazy butt and make something out of your life. I plan on taking this advice first thing tomorrow morning.

She's My Ride Home, Blue October.

2009-07-27T20:02:00.001-06:00

I'm not entirely sure what this song means. It's kind of morbid, but also makes me want to be in love. If you've not heard it drop everything you're doing and go find it now! 18th Floor Balcony is also a good one to listen to by these guys...just saying.

We talked
Together sharpening a knife
Like killing partners for a life
Hey, we can hide the bodies on the ride home
Now here we are
We're licking skin to wipe us clean
Strike a match, pour gasoline
Ditch the scene and watch the city burn
Asleep my lap will be a pillow steering-wheel turn

We drive
To leave the past and clear the mind
To watch the sunset at its time
I swear you're fine, I'm your ride home
Now close your eyes
It's getting dark and the highway's clear
No sign of life from front to rear
It's just you, my dear, on the ride home
We're going home

I'll be reaching for the stars with you, honey
Who cares no one else believes
So I set fire to everyone around but you
I told you, I told you we'd do it
So ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, we won

We talked
Together sharpening a knife
Like killing partners for a life
Hey, we can hide the bodies on the ride home
Cause we're going home

Oh Pioneers!

2009-07-24T21:12:00.001-06:00

This is my second blog of the day. Who's gonna stop me? NOT ALEX! Here I am sitting at work on Pioneer Day. I feel so unpatriotic for working on this ever so important holiday. And all because the rest of the people in this country, some people in Canada and possibly one person from Australia don't care about the pioneer children who sang as they walked and walked and walk. As far as I can tell Texas has three state holidays that you get work off for. They are Confederate Heroes Day, Texas Independence Day, and San Jacinto Day. Utah only has one and I'm working! All I really want to say is thanks. Thank you pioneers! You have made it possible for me to live in a place that you've made 'blossom as a rose', have a good job and get paid to blog. And I've made it possible to find a way to complain about it. Now I feel American.

THE mission.

2009-07-24T20:26:00.001-06:00

Once upon a time, before the day I received my mission call I had dreams. Big dreams. I fantasied about the places I might go and the things I might do there. There are so many great places to go, but I had my preferences.

First I thought about Washington state. Mostly Seattle. I imagined rain all the time, walking around with my companion with umbrellas overhead and the color green as far as the eye can see. Every one there would love me, mostly because of my witty sense of humor and my love for The Beatles. Their love for me would lead to a bond, which would lead to trust, which would lead to them wanting to hear anything and everything I had to say about the Gospel. Which would lead to conversion and a very successful mission. On P day my comp and I would head down to Pikes Place Market, we'd buy fresh fruits and vegetables to eat throughout the week and put them in the basket we brought to avoid any unnecessary plastic bags, because we in Washington care about the environment. We would become familiar with the delightful market people and they would learn to love us, which would ultimately lead to conversion. Are you seeing a pattern here? Perhaps one day I would run into Stephen Christian coming out of Starbucks before preforming with Anberlin. I'd discuss his music for a minute and then offer him a Book of Mormon, he would take it, read it and realize that he was meant to be LDS. When I was done serving my mission I'd have so many connections with all the people who love me it would be easy for me to move there permanently, I would then live out my life in Seattle wearing peacoats and rainboots being indie, artsy, creative and of course very happy.

Next I thought about heading out of the country. The ideal place for this would be England, I'd come back so classy. I imagined it to be foggy there and my companion and I would live in a little stone house on a cobblestone street. Every morning we would walk out the door drinking apple cider and pass by the large windows of designer stores which would lead to me being very fashion forward upon returning to Utah. We'd convert little old men with crooked teeth and fish off docks while discussing the meaning of life with investigators all to the soundtrack of Coldplay singing about 'missionaries in a foreign field' in the background. I would, at some point, help in the conversion of a Pattinson-esque beautiful Englishman who can play the piano, guitar, is a perfect gentleman and has a gorgeous accent. Of course we would one day be married...and spend the rest of our lives in England wearing peacoats and rainboots being indie, artsy, creative and of course very happy.

My mission call came on Wednesday and it was not at all what I was expecting. It was very surreal to read the words Texas Houston East mission, Spanish speaking. I know several people who have served there and for the last 10 months I've been getting an email every week from a friend serving there, Elder Brandon. It is weird to think that this place I've been hearing about, a place that people obnoxiously refer to as THE mission is the place that I'll be going in 3 months. It's like one of those things that you hear about, but never think about actually experiencing, not that it's a bad thing, you just never see yourself being there. I was surprised how excited I was to be going to Texas. Then little by little I started realizing things about Texas that I don't like such as heat and humidity. I was told about the dangers of chiggers, fire ants, ticks that fall from trees onto your head, armadillos, and rattlesnakes!

I've come to realize that my rainboots and umbrellas will be replaced with cowboy boots and 10 gallon hats. Rain will be replaced with hurricanes, British accents will become Spanish accents and southern drawls, instead of basking in the greenery around me I will be avoiding it's hidden dangers at all cost, I'll be forced to wear sunscreen and insect repellent (both of which I hate with a passion) and the only fog I will be seeing is my own sweat evaporating before my eyes.

But this is what I signed up for, I told myself that I'd take what ever I got with a smile. And so I will, how could I not smile? I'm going to THE mission! When I come back in April 2011 I will be a Texan and look down upon the citizens of all other 49 states, I will idolize John Wayne, be fluent in Spanish and feel the need to deep fry all my food. I can't wait.

An unexpected blessing.

2009-07-21T20:13:00.001-06:00

We're told that there is something to be grateful for everyday. I just found the something I'm grateful for today...

"What is 'selling out', anyway? Because of mass airplay-or 'selling out'-people like me could be influenced and hear amazing music. If [underground bands] didn't 'sell out,' I could be listening to Nickelback right now." -Stephen Christian.

Today I'm grateful that Stephen Christian was in no way, shape or form influenced by Nickelback. Thank you to every good band that has 'sold out'.

The walls are caving in.

2009-07-01T12:11:00.001-06:00

I'm a sucker for the piano. And Andrew McMahon. Ignore the grass skirt and his cave man appearance...or don't.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWei2nUn-1k

47 REASONS TO LOVE MY DAD ON (THE DAY AFTER) HIS 47TH BIRTHDAY...

2009-06-04T12:11:00.001-06:00

1. I love my dad because he is always has a stash of candy and is willing to share.

2. I love my dad because he can fix anything.
3. I love my dad because he's Steve Martin's secret twin.
4. I love my dad because he's hip and listens to travel podcasts.
5. I love my dad because he loves my mom.
6. I love my dad because he's always been a hard worker and provides for our family.
7. I love my dad because he makes being a Walmart manager classy.
8. I love my dad because he's proud of me even though I'm kind of a loser.
9. I love my dad because he enjoys doing yard work (less work for me).
10. I love my dad because he’s very clean and organized.
11. I love my dad because he's uber intelligent.
12. I love my dad because he loves the outdoors and camping and after many years he's made me love them as well.
13. I love my dad because he's practical.
14. I love my dad because he exercises and eats well.
15. I love my dad because he tolerates us when we get a little crazy at the dinner table.
16. I love my dad because he likes to read.
17. I love my dad because he shaved his famous mustache off.
18. I love my dad because he encourages me to educate myself about everything I'm interested in.
19. I love my dad because he's idea of teaching you how to drive is making you drive his extended cab truck with a shell with almost no previous driving experience in downtown Salt Lake City. In other words he's up for life endangering adventures.
20. I love my dad because he's a movie fanatic.
21. I love my dad because he's a pirate.
22. I love my dad because he's a man of many talents.
23. I love my dad because he's a morning person.
24. I love my dad because he's a good cook or as I like to say a culinary chef.
25. I love my dad because he thinks Ashley is a unique name.
26. I love my dad because he thinks my middle name is Maria.
27. I love my dad because he encourages us to have the Christmas spirit and serve others.
28. I love my dad because he's ever so fashionable.
29. I love my dad because he's had really cool jobs such as working at the Lion House, Jordan River Temple, and the Granite Mountain Records Vault.
30. I love my dad because he owns all the James Bond movies.
31. I love my dad because he made sure I got my eighth birthday wish, to go to the zoo...eight years later on my 16th birthday.
32. I love my dad because he held my hand when I was got my wisdom teeth out.
33. I love my dad because he was the angel Moroni on the Manti Temple one year for pageant.
34. I love my dad because he doesn't get upset when people run his truck into a pole. (Good job Mom and April, you guys are special.)
35. I love my dad because he survived Peter's crazy teen years.
36. I love my dad because he taught me how to gut a fish.
37. I love my dad because he got us a swimming pool.
38. I love my dad because he takes our family on walks to the temple.
39. I love my dad because he's going to take me on a cruise when I get back from my mission.
40. I love my dad because without him I wouldn't be able to go on a mission.
41. I love my dad because my dad's tougher than your dad and he yells louder, my dad's tougher than yours.
42. I love my dad because he's punctual.
43. I love my dad because he always made sure I was up in time for school in my youth.
44. I love my dad because he can pull off gray hair.
45. I love my dad because he is a sudoku master!
46. I love my dad because he takes good care of his Mom.
47. I love my dad because he's Peter and he likes to party!

***And bonus reason 48. He used to be a locksmith, and that comes in handy...like when I lock my keys in my car...and can't remember where I left my spares :)

LOVE YOU FATHA! Thanks for being born!

Adam and Me: A History.

2009-06-03T12:58:00.006-06:00

I've been working on this forever. There's just so much that's happened between me and Adam Lazzara it's hard to remember it all, but here it is, my best effort of a time line of my love for him.

Spring 2005: I burn a copy of Tell All Your Friends and Where You Want To Be. The obsession begins.

November 2005: I'm starting to understand why he wrote 'One Eighty By Summer' and why he's always sounding so revengeful. And this is when I become a real fan.

October 2006: It's around this time that I purchase the Louder Now: Partone DVD and I learn that I love Adam for more than just the voice over my speakers, even if he does have poor hygiene.

February 14, 2007: Adam proposes...and not to me. I find this out a couple days later, but as it turns out Valentines Day can be ruined even after it happens.

March 2007:
7:10 PM I'm on my way to my first Taking Back Sunday concert. We're lost in Salt Lake, doors have opened and the concert has begun. The only reason I'm not crying right now is because I'm only missing the opening bands, but I cannot miss Adam. Why did I not Google Map the Saltair before leaving?
7:36 PM We somehow stumbled onto 201 and get in front of all the cars using I-80. That was lucky.
7:39 PM We walk into the Saltair and Armor For Sleep is playing their last song, all is well.
7:51 PM After buying shirts me and the bro head into the crowd, Underoath is getting ready to play.
8:15 PM Underoath is now playing, the crowd is crazy, but we're three from the front and breathing is not as big a priority as sticking this out to see Adam.
8:33 PM Underoath is almost done and I don't know if I can do this. My hair has been ripped out and I'm completely soaked through in my and other people's sweat. Oh yeah, and I still can't breath. But just at the moment when I'm questioning my will to stay in this mess and wondering if Adam is really worth this, my salvation comes in the form of water being spit on me by Spencer Chamberlain. He now holds a special place in my heart.
9:02 PM We've moved in front of the singer's mic, but we're 5 from the back. Adam walks out and every thing is okay. He's so close and as I yell out, "I love you, Adam" I realize he can hear me. Awesome.
9:18 PM This is the craziest crowd I've even been in and it's either get out or die. I'd rather live for Adam then die for him.
9:19 PM This is around the time I realize that the only way out is up, so I crowd surf for the first time. After the shock of not being groped has worn off I realize I'm heading directly towards Adam.
9:20 PM And I get set down right in front of him, staring up at him I'm in shock and can't move even though security is telling me to move on. How can I move on when I'm so close I could reach up and touch his foot? But eventually I have to move on and I promise myself that one day I will meet him.

May 27, 2009:
4:43 PM: We arrive to wait in line.
5:03 PM: Random guy behind us returns from the Gateway and tells random girl about meeting Adam. He then proceeds to convince her that he's telling the truth and by 5:06 PM they leave so she can meet him too.
5:09 PM: I wake up from my trance (my work has trained me for the past 5 months to have no emotional response to anything I hear, I knew it would work against me some day) and what just happened sinks in (to me), but by this time they are too far gone to try and catch up with them and the Gateway is a couple blocks long, doors could open by the time I find Adam and get back and I can't risk my spot in line.
5:41 PM Random guy and girl get back and yes, they met him.
6:05 PM Doors open and we soon realize all hope is lost as there is one girl, ONE GIRL, to pat us down, while there are five guys to pat down the guys. Girls are trickling in and it soon becomes apparent that all hope for the front row spots are gone. But second row is not so bad.
7: 15 PM Envy on the Coast is now playing and why is their singer doing that? Stop doing weird things! I turn to say something of this nature to Kynslie and as I do someone walking onto the balcony from outside catches my eye. He's wearing all black, long dark hair and is effortlessly classy, Adam Lazzara. I try to get his attention, it doesn't work so well. So I resort to staring at him for the majority of Envy on the Coast's performance. Which is not such a good idea, by the way, especially when you're standing in the general vicinity of his stare. We possibly made eye contact a couple times and he's probably thinking I'm a freak right about now. At least I'm not completely soaked in sweat at this point.
8:15 PM The guy forcing the air out of me from behind and the girl elbowing me in the neck forced me out of the pits. I made it through half of Anberlin but, Adam, I can't stick through this, even for you.
8:25 PM Found Kynslie and Allie and proceeded to dance with them on a table.
9:05 PM Taking Back Sunday comes on stage, it's Adam in all his mic swinging glory and I forgot how good they were.
10:15 PM Adam can't stop smiling when we sing every word of Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From the Team). I love him.
10:35 PM Taking Back Sunday leaves the stage.
10:50 PM We hang around the merch hoping to catch sight of a band member. Possible sighting of an Anberlin guy.
10:55 PM 5 feet from the merch table, I'm talking to Kynslie and he walks up, the possible Anberlin guy. But this is no Anberlin guy, it's Adam Burbank Lazzara.
10:56 PM I think I'm mumbling things...I remember asking someone to get a camera and Kynslie told me to go to him. I'm frozen, so I grab Kynslie's arm and we're walking toward him. Closer, closer until he's so close I could reach out and touch him. I watched him take money from a merch guy and then he turned away and was walking farther, farther. I wanted to call out, "HEY, ADAM!" But the only thing that came out was a meek, "hey..." And now I don't know whether to laugh or cry, so I'm doing something that's a combination of both as I'm watching him walk across the floor and out of my life.
11:35 PM I throw up in the bathroom of a Denny's. Classy. Probably because I've been sick and the concert pushed me over the edge. Possibly from an overwhelming disappointment in myself.

September 7, 2009: He won't escape me this time.